Fears is common. Understanding your fears and working hard to prevent them is what is rare. Everyone gets scared, children, teenagers, and even adults. As parents, it may be a challenge to find out what your children’s fears are but it is certainly worth you trying.
Fears are part of any kid’s life. Children are often afraid of dogs who come too close, the dark, animals, lightning, thunder, or a sudden loud noise. As parents, we always want to make kids feel better. As guardians, we should help our children in such a way that they can always calm down even when we are not there.
Kids and their fears
Kids’ fears are sometimes based on their experiences as they grow. Some fears are common and normal at certain ages. For instance, babies at about 8–9 months old, can recognize the faces of people they know. So they most times find new faces scary. They may start to cry or cling to a parent to feel safe.
Toddlers within feel 10 months and 2 years, feel separation anxiety. They start to fear being apart from their parent. They don’t want a parent to leave them at daycare, or bedtime.
Children between ages 4 through 6 can’t always tell what’s real and what’s not. So they can be afraid of clowns. To them, the scary monsters they imagine can become real. They are afraid of the dark and at bedtime. Some are afraid of scary dreams.
Young children who are older than 7, are afraid of real-life dangers. When kids are 7 or older, they begin to fear things that could happen in real life. They may be afraid that someone is in the house and can hurt them. They may feel afraid of natural disasters they hear about. They may fear getting hurt or that a loved one could die. They may also feel anxious about schoolwork or fitting in with friends.
Preteens and teens are majorly faced with social fears. They might feel anxious about their looks, a crush, or whether they will fit in.
Simple signs of fear in children
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**Children may have trouble separating and staying apart from their parents.
**Kids are usually afraid of being alone.
**They don’t want their parents to travel, they prefer having their parents always around.
**Kids ask questions about safety and security.
**Children ask questions about why something bad happened.
**They appear worried and they ask if the bad thing can happen again.
**Young people joke about fear.
**Children experience nightmares and are afraid at night.
If your child is younger than 12 and exhibiting all of these traits, you can help them. All hope is not lost
How to Deal with children’s fears
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Do not tell your children that it’s all okay. It will appear as lying to them. You can encourage them that all will be well but it is important to let them know that things aren’t okay when they aren’t. This is essential so that they can prepare their minds to work towards getting better.
Telling kids that everything will be fine when things are not looking bright can be counterproductive and cause children to feel like they can’t trust you. This can further increase their feelings of insecurity.
It is important to teach your children, especially a child exhibiting symptoms of fear that the solution to fear is to learn to trust. Trust is the ability to release control to another. Kids can learn to trust when they see positive outcomes from taking small steps of risk over a period. Gently encourage children to take small risks and then provide the comfort they need. During that process, children need a lot of parental love, patience, encouragement, and support.
You can also help your kids by monitoring their media consumption. Let them avoid scary images from movies, video games, music videos, and Internet websites. So monitor your child’s media exposure especially closer to bedtime. Rather, expose your children to kid-friendly and fun programs.
Helping your Children
Helping your children learn the ability to talk to themselves and calm themselves in the face of fear is also a good way to help your children overcome fear. It is called self-regulation. Most grown-ups practice this too. It is reassuring yourself after feeling a moment of fear before.
Talk to your kids about your worries and their worries. Studies find moms talk more about feelings with daughters than sons. Let’s talk about feelings more with our sons! Also, talk about your feelings as a family–it will be more natural and kids will know it’s normal.
In addition, you can help your children become braver and live above fear by letting them talk about what’s frightening them. Sometimes kids don’t know how to explain their fears but you can ask them questions that will help you understand how exactly they feel.
Don’t treat their fears as common or nonchalant. Let your kids know you take their fears seriously, even if they don’t seem scary to you.
More Ways to help Your Child
You can also help your child by letting him or her know that he can tackle his fears, even if he isn’t so sure yet. “Saying things like, “You’ve got this!” or, “you can do it!” “that’s my brave son!” can help your child feel more confident,”
Teaching kids how to manage childhood fears on their own helps to build their confidence and independence. Help your kids become braver by teaching them to figure things out on their own no matter how uncomfortable it makes them.
However, if you notice that your child’s type of fear is more extreme or you discover that your child is suffering from obsessive worrying it is time to seek help. If your child seems too focused on the object of their fear, too much thereby limiting their ability to enjoy life or participate in activities or they suffer frequent panic attacks, it is time to seek professional help.
Don’t give up if your child doesn’t get over their fears as fast as you want. Managing fears takes time, so be patient with your children and help them to feel good. It could be a sign of anxiety and it may be time to get some professional help if your child is always afraid or if your child is refusing to go about normal activities because they are afraid.